Work and The Bigger Picture

I have not written a blog post in months. What have I been doing, you ask? Living in Crazy Town, that's what. In January, my role at work changes focus to include more data reporting. At that time, we started ramping up for a merger, then did a layoff, followed by the sale of a business unit. All of that requires my department to calculate costs a variety of ways, compile letters,and manage the process from start to end. My new role included doing various parts of that - and a daily ticket to Crazy Town.

 

Since January ended, there have been a string of very stressful things happening at work. In times of stress and chaos, it may be tempting to drive your focus to only that one thing. Eliminate everything else, ignore things at home, stop seeing people, and buckle down and work. Sometimes this is helpful (finals, rehearsing, giving birth, etc); other times this idea just amplifies the stress because you've eliminated everything fun and put yourself into a sensory deprivation tank. I tend to do this a lot and I have since I was in college.

 

January was such a crazy month. I worked 60-70 hours a week and worked evenings and weekends from home. I genuinely needed to work all that time because there were so many new things coming my way that is took me a long time to grasp it all. That kind of focus and intense energy is not sustainable, however. In my case, the hair around my temples started to fall out, which happens when I am under great stress. When that starts to grow out in three months, I am going to have baby wings coming off my head. FML.

 

I keep hearing at work that I don't understand The Bigger Picture. This makes me batshit crazy. Sometimes I hear this phrased as though I am ignoring The Bigger Picture. The problem with being at this point in my career is that I know enough to work with a large degree of autonomy but I don't know what I don't know- and I don't know that I didn't know it until I find out I should have known it. How do you know to ask a question if you don't know there is a question that needs asking in the first place. This is my plight lately. I don't know how to grasp The Bigger Picture when I can't see the picture itself- ya know? Is that too much imagery? Maybe...

 

This sort of piling stress makes me feel like all I do is work; thankfully, there have been some nice breaks here and there. My family came to visit, which is a chaotic kind of fun itself. I have one brother who is married with four kids. They came, along with my parents, for a week. We also went to a Yankee game and we have enjoyed some thoroughly lazy weekends while the trains in our neighborhood stopped running for four weekends in a row. There are few things as nice as just being home with my guy, being pig-lazy and in love. 

 

I don't know exactly what the summer will hold as my company prepares for ths merger. Discussing matters of work on a blog is tricky because many companies have policies saying you can't do that, as mine does. I have been really stressed this whole year and I feel like I am going to buckle if one more thing comes along. I have a tendency to enjoy being The Girl Who Can Be Counted On until one day I have a freak out and become The Girl Who Doesn't Have Her Shit Together. This morning I decided that I'd rather just have my shit together and be helpful and add value here at work. I'd rather not  be the freak out lady. For the record, I normally make this decision on a quarterly basis, usually after The Yankee and I discuss my personal appearance, which I have neglected because I am too stressed.  

 

I hope all is well where you are and thank you for reading.

Eating from the Pantry is BS

Have you heard of a "No Shop Week" or an "Eat from the Pantry Week"? As the name implies, you skip doing big shopping for a week and eat the stash of food already in your panry/cupboards. The Yankee and I tried this idea this week and for us, it was a bad idea.

 

I decided to really committ to this and use all the freezer, fridge, and cupboard food we have and only buy a few fresh items to stretch. Bad. Bad idea. Bad. First, we ended up eating some boring food. That's to be expected when you're hitting up staples, I guess. It was a lot of beans and rotel and basically everything tasted the same. Yawn.

The biggest problem we're facing now is that we are totally wiped out and have to restock everything, which means buying a whole lotta meat and replacing our staples. If we only buy what we need for the week, then we won't be prepared for an emergency- which is the whole reason for keeping your pantry stocked anyway! We had a smaller grocery bill last week but now it is way higher than normal this week. It has also been snowing here since I woke up this morning and now I have to go to the grocery store and find something for dinner.

 

I think that unless you have a really big stash or are really having a financial pinch, the "eat from the pantry" idea isn't a good idea. If your cupboards have rows of cans and bags and you think foods are getting close to expiring, then this might be a good idea. Of course, if you are having an emergency (whether financial or weather-related), then this is exactly the reason your pantry is stocked. But if you aren't in either of these categories, I'm not sure how well this will work.

 

The Yankee and I are back in a our food-rut and I confess that I have found myself less than prepared for a lot of things lately. I haven't been making meal plans, I haven't been making my usual life lists, and I haven't been planning my time well at all. I spent a  lot of time in 2010 trying to become more proactive and it seems like I have gotten complacent. This has been weighing on my mind a lot lately and as much as my brain is resisting the need to get a bit more organized, I know I need to do it. For me, this "eat from the pantry" business was tempting because I thought I would have to get creative to make interesting food from what we have; in the end though, you can only do so much with beans, rotel, and tomato sauce.

 

When It Isn't Working: the desk

There are a few things I feel strongly about in my home- no, I have a lot of things I feel strongly about, but not all of them relate to this post. I prefer to declutter before I organize, I like to be prepared, and I really don't like to keep appliances plugged in unless it is critical (stove, refrigerator, cable box, etc). I unplug my coffee maker if I am not using it, we don't keep our chargers plugged in unless we are charging, and I keep my printer unplugged except for the rare occasion that I print something.

When The Yankee and I got married, we had a mish mash of office supplies that I kept in a series of tubs and bins (bad solution). The Yankee also planned to go to law school so we bought a desk. This desk sucks y'all. The top of it is shallow and it has a wierd shelf thing on the back. The drawer is really made to hold a key board and a few office supplies. Although I own very few office items, it seems like the drawer is bursting and overflowing.

This morning I had to type a letter and print it, which involved moving the printer to the top of the desk, installing the printer on my itty bitty netbook (my laptop is being repaired- don't ask)- THAT involved hooking up five cords and a dozen clicks and seriously y'all, I am done with this desk. I have received approval to get rid of the desk, which makes me beyond excited. My dream home would only include six pieces of furnture so this feels like a mighty triumph.

The question now is what to do with all the stuff in the desk. I need a good solution. I normally tend to load the items into a platic bin but the problem with that is that I have to unpack it to find things and that's just ask inconvenient if I am in a rush and just need one envelope. I don't mind keeping a small box with pens and whatnot and having a small stack of "working papers" but I just can't think of how to make it work. I am really excited about getting rid of the desk and I want to do it sooner than later. I just have to remind myself not to rush and end up with something sloppy and inconvenient.

Anyone out there have any good ideas? We will eventually replace the desk, but probably not for another year or so.

A Very Valiente Confrontation

I believe that confrontation, like constructive criticism, can be good for you, within reasonable limits. One time my Friend Whom I Will Call Raw Sugar said to me, "Maybe you could try to make your actions match your words." I seriously carry those words with me everywhere my heart goes. I like to read about self-improvement, growth, minimalism, and God and from time to time I am confronted with an area in which I could use some improvement.

 

This week I started reading a new blog called Miss Minimalist and I basically devoured the blog in an afternoon and really enjoyed reading the posts. There is one that I am still thinking through and I've been experienced a bit of confrontation and discomfort (in the form of cognitive dissonance) as I mull it over. The post is about Decluttering Your Fantasy Self. Here's a lil' snippet of the post that keeps rolling around in my head: All too often, we hold on to stuff because it represents who we think we should be, rather than who we are. Sometimes our fantasy selves are meant to impress others; sometimes they’re relics of our past; sometimes they’re fantasies about our future.

 

Oh, how the concept of authenticity and intentional living eluded me in my early 20's!!

 

My fantasy self is a freakin' bad ass who has good hair, clear skin, wears classic-but-stylish outfits, has a minimally-yet-stylishly-decorated apartment on the Upper West Side, stays abreast of changes within her career field, regularly entertains and makes hand-made thank you cards, cooks a variety of delicious meals for the husband to whom she regularly submits and (enter sexual reference here, omitted in case my mom reads this). She has a well diversified 401(k) and is already planning how to pay for her kids to go to college, because she is already in her second trimester but has only gained 8 pounds so she just looks cute but not fat. Oh and my fantasy self can eat gluten and dairy and has no problem moderating a reasonable intake of dried fruit and candy bars.

 

Frump Girl,
My Big Fat Greek Wedding

The real me, the authentic me, is Frump Girl. Gluten-Intolerant, takes her jokes too far every.single.time, recently found out she though "gentrified" meant the opposite of what it actually means, constantly has to apologize to her husband for going too far, just ordered burgers for dinner for the fifth time this month, could write in the dust collecting on her never-used wine glasses. The real me really really really loves her job and really wishes she could be as good at it as the excellent people she works with. And the real me is definitely not pregnant.

 

Minimalism isn't a decorating style or a long list of things you CAN'T own. Minimalism, for me, is about living intentionally and proactively. It's about eliminating all the crap and clutter- physical, emotional, and mental. It's about setting goals and pursuing them instead of waiting for the waves of live to crash over me and wash things away. For me, it's about freedom.

 

It seems to me that I own a lot of things that I don't use. Things for entertaining, for example. If my Fantasy Self entertains regularly and my "real" self doesn't, that doesn't necessarily mean that I HAVE to get rid of those items. Wouldn't it be more fun and fulfilling to just start entertaining more and actually have friends over, fill my home with company and laughter, and happily serve my guests food displayed nicely? 

 

I think this will be on my mind for awhile. Intentional living... authenticity... simplicity... wine glasses.

 

 

The One Thing I Regret

My mother tells me, from time to time, not to get too crazy with purging because I may really, really regret getting rid of something. The one and only thing I have regretted purging over the last 5 years has been my Topsy Turvy. I am not even kidding- I really, really wished I hadn't gotten rid of this- but not until it had been gone for about 7 years. Luckily, I found a new one at Target last week for $5.99 and didn't think twice about buying it. Since then, I have turved my topsy three times. It makes my pony tail and unwashed-for-three-days hair feel classy and glamorous. Dressy, even.

 

So, minimalism. I go back and forth about this idea. It seems so charming and elusive. And by that I mean I'm afraid someone will judge me if I tell them I am a minimalist and still own Snoopy Figurines. I'm obviously not comfortable labelling myself as such.

 

I found a new-to-me blog called Becoming Minimalist and I've been reading through the archives. The writer is a pretty down-to-earth guy, which I prefer to the confrontational-minimalist that I normally picture. Reading the archives gave me a bit of motivation to look around my home and purge, just a little. The Yankee is laid up with a cold and a good cold front came through on Saturday night, so it was a low-key weekend- perfect for a lil' cleaning and a lil' purging. When I purge, I always ALWAYS remind myself of the golden rule for minimalizing successfully when your partner is not a minimalist: do not purge your partner's items. Don't do it- seriously, don't. It's not nice and won't be  appreciated. I won't be doing anything but pissing off my husband by getting rid of his stuff.

 

Here are the items leaving my home tomorrow:

• The textbook I used in my high school French Class
• The workbook and CD's I used in my college French Class
• The prayer journal with five entries in it
• Three magazines
• Three cook books
• Five elementary-level chapter books
• A box of Emergen-C that my cousin left when she moved in for a month
• Five coasters
• One wobbly, chipped, scratched side-table-ish thing
• A large mound of recyclable paper
• One red shirt that I have owned for over 4 years and literally never worn

 

I can write and write and write about my quest to declutter, unclutter, purge, clean, organize, and get the crap out of my home, but I'm not sure anyone would stay tuned long enough- it would definitely be longer than four paragraphs. I wonder if, when I am pregnant, I will have reverse nesting and really REALLY start throwing things way and be left with six articles of clothing.

 

A Very Valiente Book Review

"Need a bit more simple in your life but unsure where to start? "

Last month I was a aprt of a book launch team for Simple Living – 30 days to less stuff and more life. This book was written by a blogger I like, Lorilee Lippincott, who write Loving Simple Living.

 

Lorilee and her family practice minimalism, which I admire and desire. Even if minimalism isn't exactly your goal, this is  still a great book for anyone who wants to pare down and simplify. if minimalism IS your goal, first, please email me because I really want to talk to you; second, this is a great resource for really assessing why you own what you own and why you choose what you choose. It's a 30 day primer with practical ideas for streamlining and organizing. This is not FlyLady, whom I do love, and Lorilee even states that this is not a book for housecleaning. It's more like a book for putting away, giving away, clearing away. It's not a "get rid of all your stuff and you'll be happy"; it's an "I tried this and it worked and here's why it made me happy." The book gives you a small job to do for 30 days- things like clearing your counters and creating a system to make donating/purging things easy to do.

 

The book is $2.99 on Amazon for Kindle and you can buy it in PDF format if you have a nook (I do) or don't own an e-reader. How stinkin' great is that price?! $2.99! That's less than a latte (btw, have you tried the salted caramel mocha from Starbucks? Because it's fantastic).

 

Take a look, give it a read- I think you're really going to like the ideas.

Something to Keep In Mind

Here's a verse that I love:

Servants, do what you're told by your earthly masters. And don't just do the minimum that will get you by. Do your best. Work from the heart for your real Master, for God, confident that you'll get paid in full when you come into your inheritance. Keep in mind always that the ultimate Master you're serving is Christ. The sullen servant who does shoddy work will be held responsible. Being a follower of Jesus doesn't cover up bad work.  -- Colossians 3:20

I think this is good advice even if you aren't a believer. I mean, you could take out the God stuff and still be left with a great idea about how to conduct yourself in a variety of settings, couldn't you? Everyone has an authority in their life that, at a minimum, gives direction in one setting or another. Whether it's your manager at work, team leader, coach, teacher, parent, husband or wife. Even if it's just asking for a favor, we're all interacting in a variety of ways.

 

When I was in college, I had a job that I sucked at. I mean, I was good at the content of my work and the tasks involved in the job, but I was the jerk employee who never did more than the minimum and was very hostile about it. I wasn't doing anything that I had been studying for and wasn't interested in learning any other role than the one I had. Why would I- I'd be graduating soon and then I'd get a great job where I could drink coffee and sit in an office all day!

 

And then a curious thing happened- I came upon graduation without a job. I applied for 75 jobs in total before I found my first job in my field. So as graduation loomed, I suddenly became very interested in the company I worked for and (here is the truth) in staying employed. But by then, I'd been a marginal employee on my best days and a crap employee on most days. So when I stayed on full-time, I had a lot of humble pie to eat.

 

I am so embarassed about how I conducted myself at that job. I hate knowing there is a group of people who regard me as a jerk and have every reason to think that. I don't exactly remember what my inner dialogue was that convinced myself that THAT was an acceptable course of action.

 

There are times in my job when I am asked to help in areas that really have nothing to do with my "regular" job. I get special projects here and there that make me roll my eyes because I really, really don't want to do them. I keep this verse on the tip of my tongue during those times because I know there are good reasons I was asked to help. I know that all my contributions help my department run better. I also know that sometimes, stuff just has to get done and it's only the jerk who would say "that's not my job so I ain't gonna do it". And soon, that person becomes the unemployed jerk. And I am determined that that jerk shall not be me.

 

This also works at home, within friendships, in volunteering situations, and just basically in life. I'm  going to remind myself about this more often this week- because it's good advice, no matter what God you follow.